Not the first, and definitely not the last!

Like most other things here, one more random thought. 

Most of my experiences, joys, sorrows, feelings are not unique to me. I am one amongst many billions since the beginning of mankind to have loved someone, to have hated someone, to have family, parents, jobs, house to live, enjoy art, savor food. One of many to have won, to have lost, to live and definitely to lose this identity as I die.

This 'I', who had nothing this world as a life form took shape in my mother's womb, will turn into nothing after my death. I brought in nothing; I take nothing with me. I 'own' nothing between this birth and death. If I do claim such ownership, then it's probably a child's play. A child creates castles in sand on a beach. Leaves them as they are when it's time to go home. No matter how big or small enterprise that you work on, when it's time to go, all that has to be left behind. Like the stage of a drama that's left empty after the show's done. Until that final call, the effort to earn, to help, to create, to enjoy, to do something that leaves some sort of impression however big or small in this world continues. 

Annamayya's - నానాటి బ్రతుకు నాటకము.. పుట్టుటయు నిజము, పోవుటయు నిజము.. నట్టనడిమీ పని నాటకము.

I live my life as a singular which is a part of this collective that I call as world. This world which is my perception that's created by the signals from sensory organs of one body. When the curtain falls, when my life seizes to exist and when all the actors in that plan exit the stage, what's left is that shell alone which had that play's character in it until then. That shell, my body loses its identity. As the 'life' in it becomes a void, the body becomes another mere object in this world. It gets cremated, buried or left to end up as meals to birds, animals and insects.

Until that final act ends, the drama must go on. This life should continue. The masks on the face should remain. Sorrows to cry to, joys to laugh at. The balancing act is to fully take part in it, all the while knowing that the facade goes away at one point or the other. The curious thing about it is, I immerse myself in the play so much that I lose the sense that it is all temporary. I 'live' in it. Of course, that's how this world runs.  That's how this సంసారం continues for everyone except to those select few who can live their life like a water drop on lotus leaf - being on it all the time, but never clinging to it. 

I am definitely not the first to have these inner ramblings, and definitely not the last! I, remain thus.