రెండు విరుద్ధమైన భావాలు, ఆలోచనలను ఒకేసారి మెదడు (లేదా మనసు) లో ఉండటం అభిజ్ఞా వైరుధ్యం, known as Cognitive dissonance in English.
Recall the push that you experience when you try to put the same poles of two magnets together - now imagine that push in the mind. An opposing force that doesn't let you pick either of the paths, doesn't let choose either of the sides, doesn't let you decide how you want. It is hard to lead such a life, though most people do succeed handling such a dissonance very ably. They can easily talk about the ill effects of cinemas and at the same time be a movie buff. They can preach things very well, and not follow what they preach at the same moment. Are they not being true? They aren't - they are adept at handling the cognitive dissonance.
There are chosen few like your truly who can't, get stuck in a limbo, live their days in shame, shame from being that holder of dissonance. Hence 'dhobhi ka kutta na ghar ka, na ghaat ka'. May be at some point in life, the dog will find its kennel and the rudderless boat will reach a shore. That's the hope. Hope that the light will shine on the darkness of the mind. Hope that some 'knowledge' will drive away ignorance. Hope!
O bright-eyed Hope, my morbid fancy cheer;
Let me awhile thy sweetest comforts borrow:
Thy heaven-born radiance around me shed,
And wave thy silver pinions o’er my head!