Spit of a Neuron

For the first time in life, I think of the choice that I made and wonder if I made the correct one or not. Probably this dilemma would prevail till the day comes when this thought would seize to make any sense in my universe. Any person who tries to make everyone around him happy, can never be happy. True. The impermanence of life does not change. The belief in control over one's life is just a myth, becomes stronger as days pass by.

Satyam forms the base of Shivam and Sundaram. But in my world, what is the base of this satyam? Heart is what says to run and mind is what stops it. An axiom that there exists a point where heart and mind intersect. That forms the base of satyam. It is foolishness to question an axiom, but  does that point of singularity exist?  Confusion prevails. Synapses in brain spark and fade away. Like a candle's last moments stretched out for eternity. Where do you find the intersection of two lines to infinity? Only I can hear my wails. It's only me to recognize that I am getting sucked into my the mire of inability, but fail to acknowledge my failure, clutching to the last grass blade that my hand can touch to prevent myself from seizing to exist.

'We are governed by rules written by people that we do not know to exist'. A neuron spits before dying. Life continues.

[Few years later...]

As I continue to grapple with these conflicting thoughts, I find myself constantly questioning the nature of existence and the choices I am making. The struggle between the heart and mind seem never-ending, and the pursuit of truth, or 'satyam,' appearing to be elusive.

May be life is not always about finding definitive answers or reaching an absolute state of truth. It is about the journey we take, the choices we make, and the lessons we learn along the way. Sometimes, our happiness lies in embracing the uncertainty and impermanence of life, rather than seeking control over every aspect of it.

Perhaps the intersection of heart and mind is not a fixed point, but rather a dynamic and ever-evolving balance that each person must strive to achieve in their own way. This delicate equilibrium could change as we grow and evolve, and it is our responsibility to adapt and make the best of it.

Can I stop focusing solely on the idea of finding a single point of convergence between my heart and mind and instead pay attention to my inner voice and trust my instincts, while also using my intellect to guide me through life's challenges? A long question!

Life continues to be filled with dilemmas and difficult choices to make and may be these moments of uncertainty are a part of the human experience. By learning to embrace them and find balance within us, we might be better equipped to navigate through life's complexities.

As I continue on my journey, various encounters in life serve as gentle reminders that sometimes, the most valuable lessons are those that we stumble upon unexpectedly. With each passing day, I am becoming more aware of the beauty in the impermanence of life, and gradually, at some random time in future or by end of my life the wails within me will quieten down, replaced by a newfound sense of inner peace and acceptance. Who knows?